Super Bowl ads – worth the $3 mil or not?

No.

Maybe if your product message involves somebody getting kicked in the crotch or lighting farts on fire.

But even then…no.

Kittens and their inherent danger to humanity

A guy I work with has a great quote about cats: they always want a dollar. They’re always like, ‘Gimme a dollar, gimme a dollar, gimme a dollar.’ That’s all you get from cats. And do cats ever give you a dollar back? No.

Cats are the keys to the digital kingdom, too. All you have to do is film kittens doing anything, scratching a post to ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’, put it on youtube, and you’ll get 400,000 hits, guaranteed.

I’m working on a project right now that calls for in-banner videos. The product has nothing to do with cats. In fact, it’s antithetical to cats. But my idea was to put 17 cats inside that product, interacting with that product, maybe even licking it like they do their fur. And you know what? That ad would get eyeballs. It would get clicks. But it would have been a terrible ad. My client’s brand would be damaged. And I might very well get fired.

Proving again my friend Pat Scullin’s adage: kittens are an inherent danger to humanity.

An uncaring world and why we should care

Lately I’ve been so busy making ads for sports cars and prostate pills that I haven’t had time to keep up with the ol’ blog. And America is getting frustrated with that. Well, not really ‘America’ per se, but my one faithful reader, Patrick Scullin, creative head of the great Ames Scullin O’Haire agency in Atlanta, Georgia. (See his blog link to the right, The Lint Screen.)

Pat is so frustrated by my output lately that he suggested the next four topics I could blog on. So, the next four blog ideas come from Pat. Starting with this one:

AN UNCARING WORLD AND WHY WE SHOULD CARE.

Because advertising is perhaps the most powerful art form ever invented. Wield that power wisely.

Avatar: 3 Thumbs Up

Take one thumb away for the usual Cameron-esque clunky dialogue. Take another thumb away for the plot recycled from Pocahantas and Dances With Wolves. Take another thumb for the non-dimensional characters. You now have less than zero thumbs. Luckily, you can add a thumb for the unbelievable visuals. And another thumb for the unbelievable visuals. And another for the unbelievable visuals. And one more for 3-D used in an intelligent, nuanced way that's immersive rather than assaultive. 'Jawdropping' is a movie-review cliche, but my jaw literally dropped for much of 'Avatar'. It's a must-see.

Life, and Site Lessons

This was sent to me by my colleague Markendaya. Read it for its touching story, clean navigation, beautiful photography, and life wisdom.

http://www.dayswithmyfather.com

Tiger Woods and the death of celebrity endorsement

When I was working at Leo Burnett, I got an assignment to come up with a campaign for Allstate to replace the one that’s running now with Dennis Haysbert, just in case he got hit by a bus or arrested in a public bathroom in Venice, California. At the time I thought, just get another guy.

The problem now for Accenture, Schick, (until recently) Buick and other advertisers who rely exclusively on Tiger Woods is: you can’t get another guy. He is your guy. He’s your brand.

That’s the thing with celebrity endorsement in America today. It used to be a celebrity could stand for your brand because the aspect or personality trait that celebrity possessed which pertained to your brand could be controlled. Now, there is no control. Everything is fair game. There are no rules. And if your brand is tied to that celebrity, you’re at the mercy of the melee. Good luck to you.

PS What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They’re both clubbed by Norwegians. Sorry, couldn’t resist.

Thus Ends the List Experiment

Knowing America likes lists, I built the last few blog posts around lists as a grand experiment to see if it would increase my hits. According to Stat Counter analytics, hits to 100 Words increased 12% in the 12-hour period following immediate postings over previous post rates.

As this threatens to make 100 Words TOO popular, and in order to retain its under-the-radar street cred, it makes sense to return to normal-theme marketing posts. Though I admit, I was tempted to move on to babies and kittens.