Friday, August 9, 2013

An open letter to Maurice Levy

TO:   Maurice Levy
FR:   100 Words
RE:   The merger

Sorry, I've been away shooting donkeys and preparing to shoot sports cars (yes, I have a weird job).  And I know you've been wondering, "100 Words, what the hell do you think about the Publicis/Omnicom marriage?"

Glad you asked, Maurice. Here's what I think it's not about: ideas. Because not one person has said so. Not you, not the press. Nobody.

That's because it's not. It's about media-buying and big-data scale. You said so yourself.

Which is odd, because the one currency agencies have left in this world, the one thing you will have left, is brilliant strategy and brilliant ideas. Storytelling is and shall be king.

And there is no algorithm for that.

PS: love the hair.

24 comments:

Patrick Scullin said...

Bad move, Gary. Now you've pissed him off and he won't buy you.

You could have been his idea monkey!

Oh well, you'll get over it.

Hank said...

Speaking of great ideas, here's one. Let's take a man who has done nothing, had no great ideas, never had a real job, no record of academic excellence, drug user, associate of convicted felons, hates America and routinely apologizes for it, and make him President of the US.

Hank said...

I forgot - that would be brilliant right? Right. Gary, master of brilliance, will understand this.

Mr. DVR Mute said...

How come all the commercials on TV these days are juvenile and offensive? Is it because briliance is king?

G.D. said...

"Done nothing, had no great ideas, never had a real job, no record of academic excellence, drug user, associate of convicted felons, hates America and routinely apologizes for it."

Wow, I was relieved there Hank...I thought you were talking about me!

Hank said...

Given your heroes, I think the words probably fit.

Reggie Love said...

You nailed it Gary. "Storytelling is king". I remember the day bin laden was killed. The Navy Seals were on there way, Nobody knew if this would work, would bin laden be killed, would our guys live or die. And Barack says to me, "Reggie, I can't take this standing around. It's already been 15 minutes in the Situation Room, there's no grass and all these suits. Let's go play some "Spades", if you know what I mean." That Barack he can play man, we must have played Spades till I was all but wore out. Then we heard that bin Laden had been killed. Barack was happy. He said "Reggie - now we got to get Joe to tell the world who the Navy Seal guys were who did this. See how long they last." And that was it. We got out of bed and went and shot some hoops.

James Taylor said...

Why didn't the brilliant marketing gurus behind Obama tell us that hope and change meant the Patriot Act would no longer be used to spy on evil terrorists but would under Obama be used to spy on every American, every day, every phone call, every text message. Why does Obama have the NSA spy on all of us? Is he the President yet, or is Bush still in charge? And when does anything good start to happen? Or do you marketing guys just specialize in converting shit into a President? Something far worse than a rodeo clown.

Brian Williams said...

Obama's other son just shot a nice Australian Ooklahoma college baseball player, in the back, because he was bored. Obama declares his son was right to do so, because its "time spread the murder around" and white people have it too easy these days. Obama sent Eric Holder to Oklahoma to investigate the local police who arrested the black teens who admitted doing the killing. Holder believes the racial makeup of the local police force is the real crime and he is setting u a TaskForce to consider taking over all local police functions in Oklahoma, based on its clearly racist practices in this case.

Cindy Sheehan said...

Obama goes to War. Brilliance on parade.

Anonymous said...

Better yet. Obama goes to war alone - zero international support - zero public support. Puts our people and money at risk apparently just for his ego. Well, egoistic narcissists is what you get when you listen to marketing douchebags instead of people who actually know something.

Barack H. Obama said...

"Do I golf? Do I go to war? Do I golf? Do I go to war? Should I ask Congress? Why start now? When I was in Congress I voted "Present".

"Where is Reggie? My shoulders are stiff from thinking. I could use that boy."

"War, golf, or another vacation. Maybe Letterman. My military is ready to do what I tell them to do.

" I could call them from the golf course. That way I don't have to decide now? War or golf?

Funny, I used to be a pacifist.

"I decided. War and golf. They say it might rain. I'll have a Marine in the cart to hold the umbrella for me."

Debbie Wasserman Schultz said...

We must go to war with Syria so Barack Obama won't look bad. I know we Democrats don't like the military, though a Marine can be useful holding an umbrella for Barack when it rains during a speech. But, as Barack says, "my military is ready to invade any Middle East country that I decide to invade". OK, so he says some silly things. What do you expect from an affirmative action hire? Still, we Democrats know the right times to use war to advance political goals. Like when Jimmy Carter rescued the hostages in Iran. And the time when Bill Clinton stood up to the warlord in Rwanda and sent our black helicopters to free the Somalis. And when he blew up the aspirin factory in Serbia. And of course there was Vietnam. So we Democrats understand the use of force. That is why it is imperative that the Congress grant the Authorization to Use Force so Barack is not made to took bad just because the UN does not support this, or the Arab League, or the British, or the Russians, or the Chinese or even the American people. Well, the American people did not support ObamaCare but he ave it to them anyway, and now they are enjoying the good results of his decision, especially the unions and government workers who were just exempted. So, support Obama. Vote for War. It will bring Peace, like you see now in Libya and Egypt. Obama. All Hail. Alahu Akbar.

Bo Diddley said...

"Syrian Ambassador Quotes Obama’s ‘Yes We Can’ Slogan While Defending Assad.\\"

You should be getting royalties. Instead your guy wants to evaporate this reformer.

Tired of Democrats Destroying Cities said...

"53 HOMICIDES, 224 SHOT AND WOUNDED IN AUGUST IN RAHM'S CHICAGO"

Chicago - summer murders in the land run by Democrats. Almost heaven.

Here's a brilliant idea. Use the Goerge Costanza logic. From now on Chicago, do everything exactly opposite of the way you have been doing things. Don't elect community organizers to Senate seats. Don't elect a ballerina as your Mayor. Don't have the stupidest Senator iin the history of the Senate (hint - still serving).

No more Democrat Aldermen or women. No more union thugs. Lower taxes.

Tired of Democrats Destroying Cities said...

"53 HOMICIDES, 224 SHOT AND WOUNDED IN AUGUST IN RAHM'S CHICAGO"

Chicago - summer murders in the land run by Democrats. Almost heaven.

Here's a brilliant idea. Use the Goerge Costanza logic. From now on Chicago, do everything exactly opposite of the way you have been doing things. Don't elect community organizers to Senate seats. Don't elect a ballerina as your Mayor. Don't have the stupidest Senator iin the history of the Senate (hint - still serving).

No more Democrat Aldermen or women. No more union thugs. Lower taxes.

Vladimir Putin said...

Every day, this President achieves new heights in incompetence and stupidity. It is really quite rare to see such pure ignorance in one who certain people portrayed as brilliant. This buffoon baboon had set half the Middle East on fire and is now working on the other half. He has already sealed the destruction of his own country. And to think that this boob was elected, twice.

Sean Penn said...

About six months ago during a Facebook town hall with Parents magazine, Joe "The Class Clown" Biden recommended the "shotgun" to a mother concerned about protecting her children, recounting how he told his wife to take the family’s shotgun and fire it into the air if she ever felt threatened. “Buy a shotgun, buy a shotgun,” he urged.

Two days ago, an insane Obama supporter used a shotgun to kill 13 people in the Navy Yard outside of DC. Obviously, the insane man was following Joe's advice. Sarah Palin was nowhere near this military base, where soldiers operate in a "gun free zone" so the lunatic had pretty much free access to sitting ducks. Too bad Biden wasn't nearby.

Patrick Scullin said...

Damn, don't have an angry political rant but will share a video related to the Publicis-Omnicom merger:
http://youtu.be/egC54PEYNIY

Then, you guys can get back to the political rants.

Clarence Clearance said...

Obama sucks.

There's a tag line.

Clarence said...

Aren't all Ad executives rich white guys who live in rich white suburbs and have vacation homes and big salaries? Sounds like the profile of evil Republicans to me. Except they feel, justifiably, that they through pointless and in the long run totally meaningless "commercials" that they are no significant, so to deal with their guilt over getting rich creating garbage, they vote for Marxists, who vow to redistribute their ill gotten wealth. These metrosexual ad boys are not virtuous enough to give to charity but prefer government redistribution, which they might be able to avoid. Maybe Obama will remember "in-kind" work done, pro-bono, and will create a Ad man exemption for ObamaCare. Yes We Can was just normal advertising. A lie. Of course GD does not want to have to buy something from a government exchange.

the truth said...

Gary - did you design the ObamaCare website?

Hechuva job.

Yes we can.

You are almost as unbearable as Obama. And as much in love with yourself.

Barry said...

Be sure to sign up for ObamaCare soon. Remember, I promised every family would save about $2,500 a year and everyone could keep their plans and doctors. Almost all of that is true except the first three things. If I hear you all like it I may even sign up a few years from now. Maybe. Do it now to avoid the penalties and liens on your homes.

Take care. Yes We Can!

Nancy's Press Secretary said...

"You have to destroy the country to find out what's in the bill"

Nancy Pelosi, bragged after Obamacare passed with only Democrat votes.