Thursday, May 31, 2012
10 reasons why I hate the Miami Heat
The carnival-barker PA announcer. Chalmers hits a 12-foot jumper in the first quarter and you’d thought Jordan just hit the buzzer-beater over Ehlo. “MAAAAAAARio CHALLLLLLLL-MERRRRRRS! ASSIST FROM DUWAYYYYYYYYNE WAAAAAADE!!” Goes on for 11 seconds after every score.
The preseason celebration/coronation where they predicted 7 titles – BEFORE THEY’D EVEN PLAYED A GAME.
Erik Spoelstra’s overbite.
Mike Miller’s hair. Yo, Vince Van Patten called, he wants his ‘do back.
Udonis Haslem letting his nasty saliva-dripping black mouthpiece hang sideways out of his piehole after EVERY SHOT HE MAKES. Disgusting.
Future president/poet laureate of the NBA/whitest African-American in the NBA/ex-Dukie Shane Battier.
Did I mention that preseason celebration/coronation?
Yes, I know this post isn't about advertising. Sue me. My hatred of the Heat is all-consuming.
at 5:22 PM