Tuesday, December 6, 2011

TV Commercial Report Card

Hey America. 100 Words has been too lazy to write, I mean on hiatus lately, so here's a report card on the endangered species we call Ye Olde Televisione Commerciale.

The 12 readers of this blog know I love Goodby, but I find this ad fundamentally dishonest. What, the old fat guy didn't notice 5 cameras standing around filming him, not to mention a bunch of ad jerks like me drinking Starbucks and eating craft-service taquitos? How again was this spontaneous? C.

Every time I do a dialogue commercial I think ‘I’m never doing a dialogue commercial again’, because actors can’t act it, directors can’t direct it and writers like me can’t write it. This proves I was wrong. A.

Aaron Rodgers is doing the WWF-belt thing a lot less this year. Maybe because I said it was beneath him last year when he was doing it after every score. Docked a half-point because I couldn’t understand what the guy with the cheesehead was saying at the end until I’d seen it about six times. A-.

Old school, but sometimes old school is so old school it’s new school. State Farm’s work is getting a lot more interesting. PS How'd they get Adrian Brody? B.

These people all need to be killed. And to steal a line from Bob Winter, how embarrassing for those cars. D.


Patrick Scullin said...

Good to have the scribe back. And I agree with your reviews. They are informed, sensible and just.

The Chevy spot does make me want to buy old Chevy products.

AT&T does dialogue well.

Fun insurance stuff, nice.

Hateful Lexus holiday ad-- normal.

Keep writing, the world needs your wisdom.

Now I suppose all those angry right wingers are going to come attacking you. I'm moving on...

Jon Corzine said...


What Scullin said! Right on! Don't let those corrupt incompetent, Wall Street loving, lying, thieving, big payout CEO, crooked right wingers get you down. We need your input keeping this train on track. Keep your chin up. I do.

Barry O said...

I have to agree with Patrick. While I have been too busy creating jobs and keeping this economy growing to read your column, I know your opinions are too important to be stifled. You convinced me the iPad was pretty much a miss as a product. Who needs a tablet when you can have a full blown laptop? So I dumped my Apple stock, along with my Solyndra and MF Global. Market timing - what a great thing.

Wyatt Earp said...

Scullin - do you have a 401k or an IRA? Are you OK with all your savings being stolen by your financial company and then have the CEO say he is "stunned" that your account is empty? Like the MF Global clients cash accounts that were stolen. But this is all OK - the billion dollars of stolen client cash - because Jon Corzine the CEO is a big campaign bundled for Obama so the CEO of the company that stole the money won't be prosecuted because he is a bud of Obamas? You OK with that happening to you? When it does, be glad you are not a right wing nut job.

D. Stevens said...

Interesting takedown of the most effective yet very bad marketing campaign ever executed.


Jesse James said...

So far we know if you are a big Obama campaign bundler, you can steal $1 billion dollars in broad daylight, and the Obama/Holder Justice Department will not bat an eye. No word on a prosecution or an investigation. But hey, the guy who did the heist was a Governor (Democrat) and Senator (Democrat) and rumored to be The Big O's next Treasury Secretary. Well, when you can raise a billion in a day, you are good. Is John Corzine one of the1%? I wonder. I guess we probably need some federal regulations against stealing money from proprietary cash accounts? Apparently there is no rule against that. Now. With this President. Aint this Hope and Change great? Gary, what's your 401k account number?

Clay Aiken said...

Don't he look good in golf get up? Every day I see him wearing the hat, and those shoes. Saw him yesterday crouched down, lining up a put, looked like Tiger. That boy looks good. He stays in shape. Must eat a healthy diet. Looks like Mom dresses him, makes sure he looks good before he heads off to the course.

Gary Doyle said...

So, to sum up:

1. You can now steal $1 billion dollars from private accounts and not be prosecuted (if you are an Obama fundraiser).

2. You can now give automatic weapons paid for by US taxpayers to Mexican drug cartels and get US border agents killed, along with a couple of hundred Mexicans, and you won't be prosecuted (if you are a Democrat Attorney General). Cool!

And you golf everyday at the best golf course with the tab picked up by the taxpayers and then criticize Americans for being "lazy". Super cool.

3. If you are black, and you have 300 friends with smart phones, you can go to the mall or the 7-11 and steal all you want, video the fun, put it on YouTube, and you won't be prosecuted. True dat!

In just 3 years many new business opportunities have opened up in America, due to positive leadership, open to change. Now, give me all yo money, Whitey!

Anonymous said...

As a former creative, I agree with you 100% on the Impala spot. I knew there was a head-shaven director 15 feet away and it bothered the hell out of me..
BUT before that kicked in, the first time I saw it as a person on a couch, I thought it was sweet, nice, and moving.
My conclusion? Working in the industry ruined emotionally-based advertising for me.
Grey bearded prof downstate.

G.D. said...


So true.

John Engelland said...

Why didn't the guy in Chevy ad know something was up when he saw George Clooney hanging around with a microphone?